Ruger
02-20-2007, 09:36 AM
Stolen from Wombat...Come on KK, you could do better than this!!!!
Most people do not associate the word “Pride” with fighting.* To the contrary, they associate the word with Saturday-afternoon parades featuring men in G-strings waving rainbow-colored flags.* Now, consider the ramifications of “Pride: The Second Coming”.** I’m not judging anyone, but I think it is possible that certain people – possibly men who share a fondness for leather hats – might order the pay-per-view expecting full male nudity.* Similarly other people – possibly fight fans – might proudly wear their “Pride: the Second Coming” shirts to the bar where certain other people – who might be men who enjoy dressing like women – might get the wrong idea about them and/or the meaning of their shirt.* Now, depending on how much the fellow in the shirt has had to drink and how convincingly the other fellow might be dressed as a woman, the potential for anarchy, disappointment and back-alley bottle-fights with enraged transvestites is incredibly high.* I wonder if the marketing managers at Pride realize that.**
Wanderlei Silva vs. Dan Henderson
The first time these two fought, Silva beat Henderson by decision by stomping on his head like an enraged housewife crushing a four-pound cockroach in a battle for kitchen-supremacy.* Will that happen again?* No.* Here in North America, we do not tolerate stomping on a downed opponent’s head, unless you are a bull, in which case under the rules for Professional Bull Riding (PBR) you are free to stomp furiously on your cowboy opponent with your four angry hooves and gore him with your mighty horns, until a swarm of rodeo clowns (in lieu of referees) manages to distract you from your terrible task.* Henderson by decision.
Takanori Gomi vs. Nick Diaz
Diaz has more skills than a troupe of circus performers, and more heart than a tour-bus full of obese men on their way to a cheese festival.* Unfortunately, he also happens to be as crazy as a bag full of alley-cats.* Accordingly, he tends to throw strategy out the window and fight with the insane fury of hell unleashed, which is wonderful for entertainment value, but not so good when his opponent is keeping a cool head and imposing his strategy whilst he, weeping, lunges at them with the viciousness of a starving mountain lion ‘til every last drop of energy in his body has been exhausted.* Gomi will win a decision and, later that evening, Diaz will attack him at a party and tackle him straight through the chocolate fondue-fountain and across the shrimp-ring platter.
Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Travis Wiuff
I’m not sure why, but this fight reminds me of that movie where Godzilla fights. King Kong.* What was that movie called?* Oh yeah, Godzilla vs. King Kong.* I’m pretty sure Godzilla won that fight, but it was mostly due to home-town judging.* Also, Godzilla breathes fire.* What’s King Kong got to beat that?* Is he going to throw a Kong-size wad of feces at Godzilla?* I don’t think so.* Giant radioactive fire-breathing lizards will beat enormous gorillas every time.* KazNak by decision.
Hayato Sakurai vs. Mac Danzig
If Mac Danzig wins this fight he should have to fight Glenn Danzig, who is the lead singer of the death-metal band “Danzig”.** I think it would be a good fight.* Glenn Danzig is huge, but I think his long hair would get in his eyes.* Of course, he would probably have the devil in his corner but the devil would probably bet a lot of money on Mac Danzig and then give Glenn Danzig lousy advice between rounds.* Sakurai by submission.
Kazuo Misaki vs. Frank Trigg
Misaki won the Pride middleweight Grand Prix by losing to Paulo Filho in the first round, and then barely beating a one-armed Denis Kang by decision.* I wish I could win a belt by badly losing to someone and then squeaking out a decision over a crippled guy.* Opportunities like that don’t come around often.* Misaki has some bad-karma coming his way soon, but I don’t think we’ll see it materialize here.* My guess: Misaki by submission.*
Mauricio Shogun vs. Alistair Overeem
The first time these two fought Overeem was killing Shogun ‘til he ran out of gas.* Then, there was no more wind to power the windmill and Shogun took over in a big way.* I lost two dollars on that fight, and I can still feel the sting of it to this very day.* Has Overeem learned his lesson?* Probably. My guess: Overeem will win a decision and return to Holland, where legalized prostitution and marijuana cafes make for the best post-fight parties.
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira vs. Sokoudjou
When it comes to having no last name, there are three categories of people.* First, there are the famous people, like Madonna and Cher and Prince, who are so famous, they don’t need a last name.* Then, there are the other people, like the crazy people you sometimes see on American Idol who insist upon being addressed as “Freedom”.* The third category is one-name super-heroes and super-villains like “Batman” and “Mysterio”.* Which category does Sokoudjou fall into?* Well, is he famous?* No.* Does he have super-powers?* Probably not.** Sadly, that leaves only the second category.* Crazy.* Little Nog by TKO.
Joachim Hansen vs. Jason Ireland
Hansen is probably still having nightmares about his fight with Shinya Aoki.* In these dreams, he finds himself wrapped in the awful rainbow-colored coils of a giant terrible snake, totally unable to defend himself against the serpents’ go-go-plata foot-chokes.* Hansen by TKO.
Most people do not associate the word “Pride” with fighting.* To the contrary, they associate the word with Saturday-afternoon parades featuring men in G-strings waving rainbow-colored flags.* Now, consider the ramifications of “Pride: The Second Coming”.** I’m not judging anyone, but I think it is possible that certain people – possibly men who share a fondness for leather hats – might order the pay-per-view expecting full male nudity.* Similarly other people – possibly fight fans – might proudly wear their “Pride: the Second Coming” shirts to the bar where certain other people – who might be men who enjoy dressing like women – might get the wrong idea about them and/or the meaning of their shirt.* Now, depending on how much the fellow in the shirt has had to drink and how convincingly the other fellow might be dressed as a woman, the potential for anarchy, disappointment and back-alley bottle-fights with enraged transvestites is incredibly high.* I wonder if the marketing managers at Pride realize that.**
Wanderlei Silva vs. Dan Henderson
The first time these two fought, Silva beat Henderson by decision by stomping on his head like an enraged housewife crushing a four-pound cockroach in a battle for kitchen-supremacy.* Will that happen again?* No.* Here in North America, we do not tolerate stomping on a downed opponent’s head, unless you are a bull, in which case under the rules for Professional Bull Riding (PBR) you are free to stomp furiously on your cowboy opponent with your four angry hooves and gore him with your mighty horns, until a swarm of rodeo clowns (in lieu of referees) manages to distract you from your terrible task.* Henderson by decision.
Takanori Gomi vs. Nick Diaz
Diaz has more skills than a troupe of circus performers, and more heart than a tour-bus full of obese men on their way to a cheese festival.* Unfortunately, he also happens to be as crazy as a bag full of alley-cats.* Accordingly, he tends to throw strategy out the window and fight with the insane fury of hell unleashed, which is wonderful for entertainment value, but not so good when his opponent is keeping a cool head and imposing his strategy whilst he, weeping, lunges at them with the viciousness of a starving mountain lion ‘til every last drop of energy in his body has been exhausted.* Gomi will win a decision and, later that evening, Diaz will attack him at a party and tackle him straight through the chocolate fondue-fountain and across the shrimp-ring platter.
Kazuhiro Nakamura vs. Travis Wiuff
I’m not sure why, but this fight reminds me of that movie where Godzilla fights. King Kong.* What was that movie called?* Oh yeah, Godzilla vs. King Kong.* I’m pretty sure Godzilla won that fight, but it was mostly due to home-town judging.* Also, Godzilla breathes fire.* What’s King Kong got to beat that?* Is he going to throw a Kong-size wad of feces at Godzilla?* I don’t think so.* Giant radioactive fire-breathing lizards will beat enormous gorillas every time.* KazNak by decision.
Hayato Sakurai vs. Mac Danzig
If Mac Danzig wins this fight he should have to fight Glenn Danzig, who is the lead singer of the death-metal band “Danzig”.** I think it would be a good fight.* Glenn Danzig is huge, but I think his long hair would get in his eyes.* Of course, he would probably have the devil in his corner but the devil would probably bet a lot of money on Mac Danzig and then give Glenn Danzig lousy advice between rounds.* Sakurai by submission.
Kazuo Misaki vs. Frank Trigg
Misaki won the Pride middleweight Grand Prix by losing to Paulo Filho in the first round, and then barely beating a one-armed Denis Kang by decision.* I wish I could win a belt by badly losing to someone and then squeaking out a decision over a crippled guy.* Opportunities like that don’t come around often.* Misaki has some bad-karma coming his way soon, but I don’t think we’ll see it materialize here.* My guess: Misaki by submission.*
Mauricio Shogun vs. Alistair Overeem
The first time these two fought Overeem was killing Shogun ‘til he ran out of gas.* Then, there was no more wind to power the windmill and Shogun took over in a big way.* I lost two dollars on that fight, and I can still feel the sting of it to this very day.* Has Overeem learned his lesson?* Probably. My guess: Overeem will win a decision and return to Holland, where legalized prostitution and marijuana cafes make for the best post-fight parties.
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira vs. Sokoudjou
When it comes to having no last name, there are three categories of people.* First, there are the famous people, like Madonna and Cher and Prince, who are so famous, they don’t need a last name.* Then, there are the other people, like the crazy people you sometimes see on American Idol who insist upon being addressed as “Freedom”.* The third category is one-name super-heroes and super-villains like “Batman” and “Mysterio”.* Which category does Sokoudjou fall into?* Well, is he famous?* No.* Does he have super-powers?* Probably not.** Sadly, that leaves only the second category.* Crazy.* Little Nog by TKO.
Joachim Hansen vs. Jason Ireland
Hansen is probably still having nightmares about his fight with Shinya Aoki.* In these dreams, he finds himself wrapped in the awful rainbow-colored coils of a giant terrible snake, totally unable to defend himself against the serpents’ go-go-plata foot-chokes.* Hansen by TKO.